Another Anxiety Attack and Figuring Things Out

Yes, I've had another one last night. Need I mention that yesterday I spent all day at the college trying to register for classes, only to realize that I didn't have the proper financial aid to pay the 700 odd dollars for said classes. I was given 'till midnight to pay online but needless to say that didn't happen.

And I was getting all worked up over joining the Creative Writing club and doing this and that within the college but it wasn't meant to be, I'm sure of that. I had a minor anxiety attack that was forthcoming [I could feel it all day] and it escalated when my mother said "You had all summer and you didn't do anything." Yes, mother, I didn't do anything then, because I wasn't 100% that I wanted to go to college.

If anything, now I have enough time to gather myself, what I need...etc. in order to register for January (if I still wish to go, then). By then, I'll have my license and I'll have my head on right...I do hope.

These few months I've been blessed with, I really need as my life has been spiraling somewhere that I don't know is sane. Whatever. I haven't touched my book in DAYS (feels like weeks), so I believe I'll try to tackle that right now. (Sigh)

My Vampires have reached the second city they need to get to in order to find the book they need. Is it there? Who knows. I'm going to figure that out right now.

Take it easy, m' dears.

Sheron Parris

Bad News All Around?

My Aunt died. Like earlier today.

I can't even...I'm in pure shock.

I'm going to go see my cousin later on or in fact, tomorrow. But for now [sigh].

I can't even....

Take care. Stay safe. Stay healthy you lovely people.

Sheron Parris

Anxiety Attack, Release, New Beginning

I had a severe anxiety attack last night brought on by the male parental telling me that I "need serious fucking help," (I kid you not) and other insane things I've been keeping bottled up for so long. They couldn't last within me anymore and that was it:

• Nausea
• Insane migraine
• Pain in the mouth and throat WITH the migraine
• And crying brought on by the fact that I hated what was happening to me, and the migraine SUCKED, and the pain sucked -- which only made the pain worse and made me cry MORE. 

I thought I was going to die, but here I am, I feel freer, amazing, great, fantastic, as though I'm not "tied" down by anything more as I did before.

*I went to the doctor and he just gave me Tylenol. What the hell is that? I HATE medication and knew he wouldn't be able to single out the issue before I went. [Sigh] Why don't I listen to myself more? Would've saved me twenty bucks. 

[Deep breath]

I haven't written anything as of late because of the slew of things that have happened recently but I'm sure I'll get to my sequel tomorrow. I've had it open for days and haven't stared at it once. Kind of odd for me. But whatevs. My personal life needs a drastic re-haul. I've decided to focus on my health for the time being, because it's important, no?

Oh, and I got another rejection today guys. Woo!

Seriously, rejection is amazing. Suckish, yes, but that only means that I have more time to understand myself, my writing, where I want this series to go, and what I want to do with it before I try again. Freedom, no?

And have you guys been clued into the weird weather as of late? The storms over here, NY, in the end of August (pretty weird), and I heard there was some fire tornado in Brazil, and TWO water SPOUTS in the ocean. What the hell is going on?

I actually like this insanity. It's...refreshing. New.

Stay lovely.
I need some sleep to recharge (still feeling pretty weak).

-Sheron Parris

College, Home, and Solace

I was literally forced to go up the nearest community college and register for classes. I took the placement exam, as per usual, aced English [a-duh], I was exempt from Reading for amazing SAT scores, and I got TWO remedial Math classes. (What can I say, I hate Math.) And here I am, I don't know how many hours later wondering just what in the world I'd gotten myself into.

At any rate, I'm glad to be back home, if only for some sleep, and to wake up to head back to my old high school, get the transcript, go back to the college and register officially. (Sigh) I keep repeating to myself: I am happy, I am happy, I AM happy....

Of course it's not true but I've grown up placing my happiness on the back seat for others, I know it's wrong now because I'm all unwilling to "step out into the world," because quite frankly, I see the world as complete shit and yes, I DON'T wish to be apart of it. That said, I like the college. It's nice, and if I can get some good writing classes and theater, I don't give a shit what else I get.

Now, on the to the writing:

My true friend in this time of retardation (is that word, I think it's a word). Writing, my aid in a time of turmoil. (Heavenly sigh). Oh sweet writing. [Dances in mid-air while wielding black roses.] 

Because that's how writing makes me feel. -_-

Ahem, yes, in lieu of finally making some sense, I'll begin with this: I've reached Chapter 20 in my sequel...[holds for applause]...and now I've no idea where else to take it. A lot more must happen...it's just the working out of GETTING those things to happen. I find myself REALLY wanting to skip ahead and just write the goddamn ending already. ;) {Who's with me?}

And now, [clearing throat], I speak more on character development and plot, whereas I would if I knew what the hell I was talking about. I've a headache the size of Mount Rushmore, I feel as though I'm being pulled in 20 directions, and I can't even face my book right now (please tell me I'm not the only one).

Thus, I leave and find solace in tea, the television (damn you corporate America), and the last Harry Potter (reading for the 20th time I think. I'm at the end and it's so terribly horrible. That said I CAN'T WAIT for the first part of the ending -- the movie, I mean. Expect a full review when I go see it.)

[Waves hand to fellow lovely writers.]

Tra la la.

Sheron Parris

Haven't Blogged In Days...

Because life has gotten in the way, but I've truly reflipped, revamped, and re..did? a few chapters in my sequel and the story's moved along awesomely. I've decided not to focus on the romance between two characters, but center it on something else...namely action.

And for once I applaud the excessive action in my book -- it's helped to smooth things along easily. This is a short post, as I've a short attention span right now and feeling like doing something else.

So off I go. To read books probably. Or to write.

Sheron Parris

Entering Contests and Submitting to Literary Magazines

Ron L. Hubbard's Science Fiction/Fantasy Contest. I entered pieces of my novel. Edited it, obviously. Here's to hoping for that.
And also I've been looking for literary magazines to submit work to. I've found a few and submitted work thusly. Here's to building an anthology of my work, eh?

[Sigh] I'm exhausted and don't feel well at all. Just came home from a barbeque and my aunt who's been reading my book online, told me she liked it...etc. I'm glad. Just wish it wasn't online as everyone complains about their eyes hurting after a few minutes to 30. [Sigh] Eh.

I need some sleep.

Stay saucy you lovely writers.

Sheron Parris