Now, without further ado, here is
-The Butler-
for your reading pleasure:
"Maybe moments pass," she said.
"Of course, Miss Lynda, keeps the world moving, moments do."
"Of course, Marv, but I can't shake the feeling that his death wasn't meant to be." She shivered. "This one moment will never pass, I'm afraid."
"Aye, Miss Lynda, this moment shall linger in everyone's mind for years to come. That, Miss, I'm sure of." The smile on his lips said it all. How he knocked Jacob on the head something awful, how he dragged the bastard's body into the river....
"There's just one thing that bothers me most, Marv," Lynda said, looking out towards the river where they found him.
"What ever could it be, Miss?" Marv asked, almost too innocently.
"Who could've done such a thing?"
Marv smiled again, for the answer was quite clear:
The butler did it.
---
Now, while copying that from paper to keyboard, I must say my experience as a writer had me begging to change a few things here and there, to brush up on certain actions I see in my head the butler Marv doing as he observed the Misses. But I changed nothing for the sake of telling the original story: how I saw it in my head, then. Really shows how we grow.
I'm thinking of expanding on this rather short story to expand on their environment. A myriad of questions comes to mind as I reread it. Who is Miss Lynda? Did she have a hand of wealth passed down to her from her late husband? Is there a bigger reason for this murder? And why did the butler of all people commit the crime?
I see a certain charm in keeping this as it is, as the lack of information makes it rather...enticing, at least to my eyes. To add anything more would kill the air, don't you agree? At the very same, I find my writing blood boiling: I simply must KNOW more about these characters.
I think a mystery/thriller is soon on my hands...once my Vampire series is at its end, of course. ;)
I'm Sheron Parris, tell me what you think, and thank you for reading.
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Edit:
If you want to read my Vampire Book (the first one), you can follow this link. Happy reading.
I want more from this story! I agree with you wholeheartedly on the questions you asked yourself. I've yet to read your story; I gotta finish the one I'm reading now before I start yours.
ReplyDelete& let me know whatever day is good for you and we'll discuss locations & all that jazz<3
I want to know what Jacob did to get hit over the head by the Butler. What drove Marv to do it?
ReplyDeleteMore please :)