Saturday, February 27, 2010
Looking over some poems and short stories I did years ago when cutting myself was the norm and when depression loomed like a dark could over my head, I realized I had lost everything that made my writing back then spark, with life, with truth. The emotions may have been "dark and depressing" but they were what I was feeling, they were my truth even if it were the majority of what I wrote.
The short stories, the dreams I penned, they all rang clear with Vampires. [Sly grin to self.] The one I am most proud of is titled "The Strange" and its sequel, "The Unknown." My Gods, those are fantastic, I can't stop reading them over. Another favorite short story I wrote was titled "The Butler." Simple but effective, I think.
I look at my novel now, complete in all it's commercial glory and I wonder why it shifted when writing. Indeed, it was dark and gory when I first sat down to write it, but along the way, I thought no one would care to read it, it wouldn't be picked up by a publisher...etc. And reading other blogs and whatnot, I see that I was right. There is nothing on the web about the "niche" I have. My writing is intense, deep, lovely, sinister, dripping with blood and desire, craving, lust. My Gods I cannot believe I gave in to commercialism!
I shall continue to write my current Vampire Series and seek representation, but I vow that all books from then on shall be true to my nature:
Dark, beautiful, bloody, soul-baring, and completely me.
Monday, February 22, 2010
So I trudged my butt to school against my greater will and I'm quite glad I did, for I ran into the lovely Ms. Williams, I mentioned in previous posts, and she told me immediately that she was throwing a Literary Reading at a Lounge near NYU. She invited me to come and read some of my stuff, advised me to create some business cards and get my name out there. Floored, heated, and heart-a-racing, I somehow managed to agree, not at all knowing what in the world I would do, what I would say, what would happen; quite naturally, I silently freaked as I'm prone to do. But just the idea that an agent (or anyone) would take interest in my work is what is propelling me forward to put my foot out there.
I may have to call forth the acting skills I've gained in Drama class to do this but the good part is, I have a month to get my manuscript copywritten, print it all out like three times over, and lay everything out. I'm excited, nervous, maybe even scared. I've never been in this kind of predicament before, don't know what to expect or anything so I'm just...[sigh]...holding it together.
Wish me luck? ;)
I'll be writing my sequel and am willing to expend a chapter or a few paragraphs of my manuscript, depending on who you are and if I deem you trustworthy. Just ask if you wanna read it. =]
Friday, February 12, 2010
Writing this letter for the pass 2 or 3 days had made me realize that I'm not happy. And if I'm not happy, why am I trying so hard? The thoughts of my book being the "next Harry Potter," surely drive me forward but then I thought, "What if it isn't? Am I basing my whole writing career on trying to impress the masses? Not everyone is going to like this book. All I need is to love it. Get an agent to love it too and a publishing house to love it as well -- find it marketable and pass it on into people's [mostly friends and family's] hands.
I thought of self-publishing but I decided I didn't want this book to be of crappy quality. I wanted it to be out there for the world to see and decide if it's worth a read, not to just be hiding in the backseat of a friend's car as they exclaim, "My friend wrote a book!" Yeah, how long would it take for that whole excitement to die down if I self-published? Not long, that's what. I'd rather go through the ropes and get an agent who will work with me through the ups and downs and get my book out there.
I've been reading blogs like crazy where agents and authors tell us how to write the perfect query letter, yet using their advice, I wasn't getting anywhere. It all seemed like stressful work and it shouldn't be. I recalled the moment when my book was done, or even, when I was still writing it. That elation. That proudness. I don't think it should go away when trying to sell the book, but that's just me, perhaps.
I know this book is gold, 'cause to me, it is and I know I will find the agent that is willing to represent me because they love the idea I portray and they want to sell it.
All this doubt and second-guessing isn't getting me anywhere at all. I've written like 20 pitch paragraphs, all less than amazing that don't portray what the hell is going on in my book. [As there are a lot of things that do go on.] But I have pinpointed the precise plot and I've worked with that for the past few days.
Basically, I guess I'm saying, the fun shouldn't leave writing [no matter what we're writing] and it should all be taken lightly. The world won't end if you don't land an agent...tomorrow. ;) My advice to authors is to stop being so hard on yourselves and allow your passion for your craft to flourish. The agent you're querying should be able to pick up on your enthusiasm and passion for your work in the letter.